Everyone worries. We worry about our health, finances, careers, relationships and the future. Most advice today focuses on how to worry less. While learning to manage worry is important, there is another question worth asking:
“What is this worry trying to tell me?” The Alignment Reset programme does not view emotions as simply problems to eliminate, instead they are valuable sources of information.
Worry often acts as an internal alarm. Sometimes that alarm is responding to a genuine problem that requires action. Sometimes it is reacting to uncertainty that lies outside our control. Learning the difference is one of the most important skills we can develop.
The goal is not to eliminate worry altogether. The goal is to understand it, respond wisely and prevent it from controlling our lives. The Alignment Reset provides a structured approach to help you understand your worries. Outlined below is a step by step process to dealing with worries
1. Recognise what your worry is telling you
We experience different types of worries, which are either practical or hypothetical. You can learn to identify the type of worry you are experiencing and strategies that we use in dealing with the practical worries will be different from those we use in dealing with hypothetical worries.
2. Apply problem solving
Practical worries are usually everyday worries. A typical example of practical worries would be about finances or work problems. They are termed “practical worries” because usually they would require a practical solution in order to deal with them. An example of a practical worry can be a financial worry about a debt. Your solution can be to sell your car and buy a cheaper one which will help pay for the debt. We call this process problem solving.
3. Put aside hypothetical worries using ‘worry time’
Hypothetical worries are different from practical worries because they are worries about issues or situations that are beyond our control. They are worries about situations that are down to chance. Hypothetical worries are as problematic as practical worries because they also cause anxiety. It’s a good idea to learn to let go of hypothetical worries because all they do is cause anxiety and do not add any value. Practical worries on the other hand are valuable.
Letting go of hypothetical worries is easier said than done, but we can develop habits that can help us learn to let go, such as ‘worry time’ method. Worry time involves setting aside a time which we use to worry about the worries we have identified as being hypothetical. We can do this by setting aside 20-30 minutes of our day to worry specifically about the hypothetical worries. This method works because it helps us contain our worries. It’s like putting worries in a box and then only opening the box when you need to.
4. Have hobbies and activities
Having hobbies and meaningful activities outside of work is also key to managing worries and that’s because we are less likely to engage in worrying when we are busy. It’s also a good idea to have an exercise routine.
Ultimately the more we get into a habit of managing worries the better for our anxiety and mental wellbeing in the long term. For more guidance on managing worries, check out the worry management guide.